Grayson woke up very excited about school today. He mostly was happy about his lunch box. I was concerned he’d cry or be upset at drop off but he was totally fine! No tears and just said “bye mom”. He did tell me to wait in my car though just in case there was an emergency. Good thinking!
Tomorrow Grayson will begin preK at a new school. I have a lot of different feelings about it:
but my main feeling is codependent. I’ve come to realize that my feelings are based on other peoples feelings. I’m sitting in bed tonight writing this and feeling anxious because I don’t know how I’m going to feel in the morning- I don’t know because my emotions are based on Grayson’s emotions. If Grayson is happy at drop off tomorrow then I’ll be happy, if he cries and feels sad then I will cry and feel sad (not til I get to my car all alone of course). If my husband has a bad day at work then I have a bad day. What does that say about me though? Does it say that I love my family and their happiness means everything to me, or does it say that I’m so wrapped up in their lives that I have lost myself?
I have to be honest, I guess I’m ok with whatever the answer is because it’s MY purpose to do everything I can to make Grayson and Chris happy- there is nothing I want more than to see smiles on their faces. And really what is so wrong with a little codependency anyway?
So here’s to mom’s everywhere that are starting a new school tomorrow- may your morning be filled with hugs, laughter and all the joy that only a child can bring you.
before i die i want to see my son become a man
Grayson was exhausted after a great day at the pool. He swam a lot, did jumps, the diving board, got his rings and torpedoes. We sat down to have a snack and he layed down on Chris to relax- so sweet. Great day!!!
Grayson and I were playing on the playground after swim class the other day when something really funny happened. We play a game where he takes a big super ball all the way to the top of the playset (his hideout) and then he drops it down to me. It bounces all over the place and I fetch it for him. Well when I was grabbing the ball for him he said “no mama, teddy wants to get it”. So i looked around (we were the only people there!) and I said “who’s teddy?”. Grayson went on to explain that Teddy is the little dog that just walked up to play with us. He is tiny and precious and looks just like Bruiser with black and brown hair. So I let Teddy get the ball and we kept playing with him. It was then time to leave and Grayson said that Teddy really needed to come home with us because he didn’t have a mommy with him. That made complete sense so I told Grayson to pick him up and carry him to the car. Grayson bent down and scooped him up with 2 hands- he went on to say how tiny he was that he fit in his 2 little hands. Then Grayson pretended to be holding his paws in the air and made teddy walk. He thought that was hilarious. DODODODOooo. Grayson put Teddy in the front seat and made me buckle him in for the ride home.
I thought it was just so interesting that Grayson made this character up and had a whole story around it. He really cared about this little imaginary dog. My sweet little angel, Grayson.
So that evening I was telling my husband all about Teddy and we were just cracking up. It’s so nice to have a teammate who adores Grayson and I can share these laughs with. I’m so lucky to have this family.
We were taking a break from swimming today at the pool. Grayson had jumped off the diving board and swam to the ladder all by himself at least 10 times, he also spent time getting his rings off the bottom and doing lots of jumps. So when we heard thunder and had to get out it was a much needed break. I took this picture of Grayson because it’s a lovely moment I want to always remember. He was looking straight ahead wrapped in his towel and he said “mommy I love you”. He never even looked back at me- just said it looking straight at the pool. It made my day. I love you Grayson!
So first thing this morning we had Grayson’s 4 year old doctor checkup- 9am- I like booking the first appt so we aren’t sitting in the waiting room for 30 min. I tried to prepare Grayson telling him he would be getting shots today. So they call him back and he weighs 34 lbs, they did his blood pressure, temperature- all the regular stuff. Then the DR comes in and examines him- the part that cracked me up was when the dr checked Grayson’s testicles and penis. Grayson’s little face was shocked and he just giggled. Mommy had not prepared him for that one. LOL. When the nurse came back in to give Grayson 3 shots and prick his finger for blood. First Grayson saw the pink blook pricker and thought it was so cute- it’s small and he loves small thigns. Says “oh it’s so cute” in his tiny innocent voice. Then she grabs his finger and sticks it- then squeezes out his blood. He was freaking out! I l had to hold him down with all my might when she gave him 3 shots in his legs. He was crying hysterically and yelling “I DON’T LIKE THIS IDEA!!!!!!”
So finally the torture was over and we settled down in the car for the drive home. Grayson was still crying and saying “mama that was so scary, I don’t like that nurse at all.”
My sweet little angel. Before bed I always ask him if he had a good day and what was his favorite part. Tonight he said “the dr was bad mama”.